nedeľa, septembra 01, 2013


3:40 am, the phone rings.
She knows who is calling.
Even though she was fast asleep, she knew who would call.
Without opening her eyes she answered the phone.
They’ve talked a little, they’ve talked a lot.
-          Come – he said
-          Come
-          Come
-          Come – echoed in her head
NO, screamed everything inside her.
YES, she said, I have to.
But if you go, you’ll surely die.
No, only you’ll die...
Half an hour later, she was on her way.
9 hours later, with an empty gaze and an empty hole inside her, she’s coming back.
Not feeling anything.
Last time, it took her more than a year to resume life, to resume the passion of living, the strength of feeling.
How long would it be now? Maybe few months, maybe another year, maybe she’ll never be fully alive again.
She knew what she was doing, what path she was taking.
She let herself die, this time it was her choice and not someone else’s as it was last time.
This time, she knew, what would this shortcut cost her.
She chose to die, because healing would take too long and she was tired of that pain.
Maybe she’ll never be fully alive again.

And all she wanted was that he'd love her back ...

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